Take A Moment…

Yesterday marked the 80th anniversary of D-Day.

Having walked on the beaches of Ouistreham, it brings with it a harrowing sense of scale of just how far those brave young men (and often no more than boys) had to cover to any form of safety.

I took this photo on Sword Beach. What struck me then, as it does every time I look at it, is just how very far the water is on the horizon.

This was the second of the British D-Day landing beaches. The British 3rd Division spearheaded the amphibious assault on Sword.

Estimates suggest the British alone took 1,300 casualties at Sword with around 680 or so killed. A reported 10,000 casualties with 4,414 confirmed dead allied troops on D-Day.

90% of the first wave to storm the beaches didn’t live to see the end of the day.

I have read quite a bit over the last 24hrs as I also watched the news. There is so much could be said of the occasion, but it would be remiss of me to even try to. I have true admiration for every soul lost, and for those lucky enough to make it home.

“They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate.” 

President Franklin D. Roosevelt

Today just take a moment:

Take a moment today to remember.

Take a moment to be grateful.

Take a moment…

Happy Damn Friday! x

I’d love to hear from you – you can reach me on:

@happydamnfriday on Twitter

happydamnfriday@outlook.com

The Furthest – So Far…

This week, I find myself on the beautiful island of Bali.  Roughly 8,000 miles from the house I grew up in, back in Antrim.  The furthest from home I’ve been since taking my first breath. The furthest – so far…

Two lengthy flights from London to get here, but when you see what’s waiting at the other end, the journey feels like a small price to pay.

Bali is beautiful.  A tropical paradise, and a world away from the colder, wetter October days back in the UK.

I’m writing this looking out at the ocean, very aware of how fortunate I am to be here.  I’ve felt that wherever I’ve travelled.  The day I start taking opportunities like this for granted is the day I need to give myself a damn good talking to.

Some of the imposing statues around the island, with their fierce expressions and watchful eyes, might give you an impression of the people themselves.  Yet the Balinese we’ve met have been warm, gentle and welcoming.  Fiercely proud of their culture and traditions, and generous in sharing them with us.

We’ve also seen visible poverty, something I don’t want to overlook while describing this place as paradise.  It reminds me to retain humility in my own life.  I’ve had my struggles, and there will be others, but there are people facing hardships far greater than my own.  That doesn’t make anyone’s difficulties insignificant.  It does remind me to appreciate what I have and respect the circumstances of those whose home I’m fortunate enough to visit.  That is not lost on me.

Yesterday took us out exploring.  We met a traditional Balinese family of woodcarvers, visited the impressive Tirta Empul Temple and saw the rice terraces, with their stepped fields holding water along the hillsides.  Places where you just put your phone away for a while and just take it all in.

There was also a visit to Satria Coffee Plantation.  And yes, I did indulge in a cup of Kopi Luwak – if you know, you know. 

Standing at the foot of a waterfall, surrounded by all that beauty, I found myself thinking about how much more of the world I want to see. Getting here has meant making choices about what I spend my money on at home.  Things I’ve gone without.  But standing there, I struggled to think of anything I’d missed buying that I would rather have had than that moment.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not coming home to live like a hermit.  There are still concerts to go to, and I’m certainly not giving those up. 

But some of the other little “luxuries” we spend money on without much thought?  I’ll be questioning a few more of those when I get back.  There are places I haven’t seen yet, and I’m now more determined to take every possible opportunity to make that a reality.

Remember, it’s harder to travel when you’re dead…

#happydamnfriday 🤘🏻

Perspective & Drizzle…

This week, work took me to Lake Windermere to help carry out scheduled maintenance on a pontoon and survey the site for some additional works.

There are worse places to spend a working day.

Over the years, life and work have taken me to some beautiful places. Each has something of its own, but there’s a stillness about the Lakes that has stayed with me since my first work trip there, around this time of year, 25 years ago.

I felt it again almost immediately.

Cold air. Autumn drizzle. Hills disappearing into the mist. Even with the rain, I found myself stopping to take it all in. Neither visit has given me sunshine. Yet both have given me something I remember.

Looking across the water, I imagined the evening sun setting fire to the surface of the lake. Or those first rays creeping over the hills as the world slowly wakes up.

I haven’t seen Windermere that way. But I can appreciate that there’s another view beyond the one in front of me.

That got me thinking about how we see life, and each other.

We can stand in the same place and come away with very different experiences. What we’ve lived through, what we’re carrying and how we’re feeling all shape what we notice.

Our own view is only part of the picture.

Sometimes we need to pause. Listen to someone else. Ask a question. Be willing to imagine something we haven’t experienced ourselves. And sometimes we just need to look up and notice what’s already there.

A grey sky doesn’t have to take the colour out of the day.

We get to make everywhere a little more magical, if we want to.

Your life is your canvas.

Paint it with colours that feel like home…

#HappyDamnFriday

Another Season, Same Me…

I don’t often think about my age or “getting old”. Maybe because I’m only 53 and I don’t feel it. Well, not mentally anyway.

I still love the same things I loved in my teens, twenties, thirties and forties. Live music still gives me that same buzz.

Tonight, I’m off to Bournemouth to see The Hu, a Mongolian band whose throat singing and metal make quite a combination. It will be loud, and I’ll be smiling from the first note to the last. There may even be some unashamed head banging.

Tomorrow, my neck may have an opinion about that.

Mostly, I only feel my age when I surprise myself with an “old man noise”. Usually getting out of a chair, bending down, or doing something that never used to require sound effects.

An ache or pain reminds me that the odometer keeps turning.

Does it stop me? Not if I can help it – though, just occasionally, it makes me adjust what I’m doing a little. 

Every now and then, I catch myself in the mirror and see a dude with a white beard and no hair. It’s not quite the bloke I was expecting to see looking back. It doesn’t particularly bother me. Although I would quite like to know where the hair went.

I took this photograph this morning while out with the dog and thought about the seasons changing. A fallen leaf, with plenty of green still around it. Autumn arriving while other things carry on growing.

That feels familiar.

I’m getting older, but I still get excited when a band walks on stage. I still have things I want to do, places I want to go, and ideas I want to get off the ground.

I’m happy to see what this season brings. Preferably with a loud soundtrack…

#HappyDamnFriday 🤘🏻

Trying & Lightbulbs…

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves trying to do something that just simply isn’t working.

You’ve applied all the logic you have. You’ve checked it. Tried again. Maybe tried it a slightly different way.

It should work.

But it just… doesn’t.

Sound familiar?

Then the frustration kicks in. There may even be a little bit of swearing at inanimate objects. Maybe even flipping them off. I may or may not have flipped off my computer this week when a website kept crashing.

Did it help?

No.

Did it make me feel slightly better?

Absolutely.

But here’s the thing. Sometimes the best thing you can do when something isn’t working is to stop trying to make it work.

Not give up. Just stop. Walk away. Do something else. Let the frustration disappear and give your brain the space to look at the problem differently.

Because stepping away to see clearly is one of the most powerful tools you can have in your arsenal.

There’s a big difference between giving up and stepping back. One ends the attempt. The other gives you the opportunity to come back better.

Perseverance isn’t about repeatedly smashing yourself against the same problem until something eventually gives. It’s about being prepared to try, learn, adjust and try again.

And importantly, being patient with yourself while you do it.

It reminds me of the words of Thomas Edison:

“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Whether it takes ten attempts, a hundred attempts, or ten thousand, the principle is the same.

An unsuccessful attempt isn’t necessarily a failure. Sometimes it’s simply another bit of information that gets you closer to the answer.

So, if something isn’t quite working this week, don’t let the frustration win.

Step away.

Clear your head.

Come back to it.

Try again.

You never know.

You might just have a lightbulb moment…

#HappyDamnFriday

Wake Up With A Smile…

Last night, I went to Southampton to watch my son’s band, GOBLYN, play live.

It was an evening of deliciously sludgy metal in a small rock venue. They played a brilliant set, were warmly received by the crowd and earned plenty of praise from the other bands on the bill. But, more importantly, they all looked genuinely happy on stage.

That happiness came back to me this morning—before I had even properly opened my eyes.

There, on my hand, was the “stamp” showing that I had paid to get into the venue. A crudely drawn smiley face.

I got to wake up with a smile – literally.

And it has kept me smiling all morning.

Something so simple, almost insignificant, yet unexpectedly positive. It made me wonder: why not pretend it is always there?

Apart from actually getting it tattooed; which, knowing me, isn’t entirely out of the question. I can choose to carry that little smile around with me anyway.

A reminder to be happy with who I am.

A reminder to be thankful for what I have.

We all have something to be happy about and something to be thankful for. No matter how small it may seem, or how irrelevant it might appear to somebody else, what matters is what it means to us.

Sometimes, the smallest things can give us the biggest reasons to smile.

So, tonight, why not grab a pen and draw a smiley face on your hand before you go to bed?

Then, tomorrow morning, when you wake up and see it, perhaps it will make you smile too.

Because we all deserve to wake up with a smile…

#HappyDamnFriday x

We Can, We Must, We Will…

Today marks the 25th anniversary of the terror attack on the twin towers of the World Trade Centre. 

In a way it’s hard to believe it was 25yrs ago already. So much has changed, not just in New York, or around the world, but in my own life too. But change it has. I guess it’s strange in a way because I watched the news broadcast just after the first plane struck and then saw live as the second plane hit the second tower. It’s not something you get to see happen very often – thankfully. 

In a meticulously planned attack, terrorists hijacked four airliners. They flew three of the planes into buildings: the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon in Arlington. They crashed the fourth plane in rural Pennsylvania. The attacks killed 2,977 people and injured thousands more.

There have been countless conspiracy theories that have followed, and everyone will have their own take on what happened. But the loss of life and watching as the towers crumbled to the ground have left a lasting, dark, memory in me. The ‘jumpers’, the sheer terror for everyone on those planes and in those buildings. 

Evil personified. 

I have been to Ground Zero, back in March 2015. Seeing the footprint of the twin towers, with the names of every life lost around the metal frame. Nearby, the Oculus was still taking shape – white steel reaching upwards into the sky. Standing proud and defiant, it was probably the most impactful part on me.

Designed by the Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava, the structure represents resilience and the city’s recovery following the September 11 attacks. To me, it looks like a dove released from the hands of a child. Freedom and innocence that will never be stopped. 

A true symbol of defiance in the face of the evils and tyrannies of man. 

A lot has come and gone in the past 25 years. Time moves on. It always does.

But some things must never be allowed to fade with it.

We can remember.

We will remember.

We must remember…

#happydamnfriday x

Not Expecting To…

What have you done this week that you weren’t expecting to?

Can be good, bad, or even indifferent. Just something that wasn’t part of the plan seven days ago.

Perhaps a moment of kindness, a quiet achievement, or something that simply made you laugh.

Think about your week, really think about it, and while you take a moment to reminisce, the chances are you’re suddenly coming up with a list of things that have happened. Things that had it not been for the question, may have slipped into some form of distant memory – albeit happening all within the last 7 days. 

Strange, isn’t it?

We spend our weeks dealing with whatever lands in front of us. We move from one thing to the next, telling ourselves we’ll stop and think about it later – then later gets busy too.

The thing is, sometimes we just need to sit with our thoughts and take stock of what has been happening around us. As life gets busier, sometimes it’s all too easy for the little things to slip by. We may recognise them at the time, but then time itself takes over and ebbs them away. 

We need to worry less, and remember more. 

Not necessarily remember everything by we do, but instead remember to just think about it a little more often than we do. 

To pause long enough to recognise that our days aren’t merely passing by.

They’re filled with conversations, decisions, challenges, mistakes, achievements and moments that are quietly shaping who we become.

So, before this week disappears into the next one, ask yourself again:

What have I done that I wasn’t expecting to…

#happydamnfriday 

No Excuses…

Yesterday I was talking to a colleague at my new job and mentioned I wrote a blog. This blog.  I said that I’d been writing the blog ‘properly’ for a while. Then worked out it has been almost 13 1/2 years now. 

Then she asked the question of “How many times have you missed out on writing it?”  

The simple truth is – never. 

You see, it is more than just a random collection of thoughts on a Friday morning. It started small – I mean, really small and it has sort of just grown into what it is. Yes, it’s still my random thoughts, feelings and observations, but because I share them and I’m aware that in turn they are also shared further with others, then it would feel wrong for me to ‘miss a week’. 

Not just that, but with the power of technology, I’ve been able to post from festivals, from a hospital bed, and even from the other side of the world. So it kind of takes away any excuses for not doing it.

This is what got me thinking about life in general. I guess none of us have an excuse for not doing something. We may have reasons, fully justified reasons, even if that reason is we simply don’t want to or don’t feel like it. But excuses? They don’t cut it. They’re kind of like lying, firstly to ourselves and then to anyone else we pass them to. 

As I’ve gotten older, I see that more and more. I don’t make excuses. If I need to do something or I’m expected to do something, then I do it – doesn’t matter where, when or how. It will be done. And all without the need for an excuse. 

The simplicity of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to starting something takes away the need to construct a myriad of ‘reasons’ why it isn’t done when expected/wanted. 

So, take that reasoning into your day. Sit with it for a little while, then think about the difference between the simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and kick excuses into touch. Not just for today, but for every day. 

Remember, excuses are just tardiness wrapped in a thin veil of words…

#happydamnfriday 

Start, Then Figure It Out…

How many times have you put something off because you haven’t felt ready?

The opportunity.

The difficult conversation.

The new role.

The change you know needs to happen.

Waiting until we feel ready can seem like the sensible thing to do. Responsible, even.  But sometimes, “I’m not ready” is simply self-doubt wearing the disguise of preparation.

Why should we restrict ourselves by allowing self-doubt or fear of failure to decide what we are capable of?

The truth is, none of us ever feels completely ready. We become ready by starting.

Take the first step.  Make the call.  Ask the question.  Put the idea forward.  Accept that you won’t have every answer before you begin. Make a start – any start. 

Action creates experience.

Experience creates knowledge.

Knowledge creates confidence.

(See the pattern here?)

You don’t need to see the entire journey planned out – not if you really want it.  You only need enough courage to take the next step.

There will always be reasons to wait.  There will always be uncertainty.  But if we wait until every doubt has disappeared, some of our greatest opportunities will pass us by. Back yourself enough to take the step – that’s all you need to do.  The rest, you can figure that out along the way. 

Honestly, the chances of regretting starting before you feel completely ready are pretty slim.

However, you might regret never starting at all.

Start – then figure it out…

#happydamnfriday 

Rebuild?…

There will be many times as we make our way through this wonderful journey called life, that we realise something needs fixing.

For the most part we have become a disposable society. Long gone are the ‘Make do and mend’ days of our Parents or Grandparents. Convenience dictates that it’s easier, more efficient and simply less hassle to just replace with new. 

I don’t have an issue with that – per se. However, I am still one of those people who likes to try and mend. Or if I can’t mend it, can I repurpose it. 

I suppose I enjoy the sense of reward that it brings when I can bring something back to use. Bring a new lease of life into something that was on a one way ticket to the scrap pile. 

Because of the stuff I’ve had going on in the last couple of months – losing my job, surgery, find new job etc. it’s kind of made me realise that I’ve actually done pretty much this to myself. In June I was pretty much broken – career wise, physically and emotionally. But I managed to repurpose myself. 

I say repurpose, as I’ve completely changed career in an industry I’ve had absolutely zero exposure to in the last. However, I had enough self belief left to know that I could bring something to it. I could bring ‘Me’. 

You know, it was that version of me that works well in any capacity because I give it my all. 

On Wednesday I had a site visit to help dismantle a jetty that is bound for our workshop to be restored. It was then, staring along the broken and over worn deck that I saw much more than just scrap. I saw the beauty of what it could be, and will be again. 

We all have the capacity for ‘will be again’ if we want it. 

You can rebuild, repurpose and restore whatever you really want to – and that includes yourself…

#happydamnfriday