Don’t Lose Your Head…

Don’t lose your head, even when the world and everyone around you are losing theirs. When we can do this we can reason with what is going on. We don’t have to like it and we don’t have to be happy about it, but when we can reason it, then we are best placed to deal with it.

I know it can be incredibly hard to do, based on the environment or the circumstances, but the chance to face any given situation with a sense of clarity will make it easier. It is essential when we are going through change; either in our personal or professional lives. This has been mapped out by the Kübler-Ross Change Curve where by default human nature experiences:

Shock

Denial

Frustration/Anger

Depression

Engagement

Decision

Integration

All of which are navigatable with a level head.

In life, for many we get too old too soon, and too wise too late.

The ability to ‘keep your head’ can most definitely help. Though maybe not with the aging, but most definitely with wisdom. We develop a sixth sense to carry ourselves with a quiet dignity. It may be hard to do, and something times it may be more taxing than others, but bringing a calmness to your body, induces calmness to the mind. A calm mind will take you further than you ever thought possible.

No matter what you are faced with today, don’t lose your head. Make every day like today and you will see a change. Rationale, patience, logic, clarity, strength and empowerment – they’re all a by product…

Happy Damn Friday! x

I’d love to hear from you – you can reach me on:

@happydamnfriday on Twitter

happydamnfriday@outlook.com

Bittersweet Me…

This week has been a bit of a mixed bag of emotions for me. Sunday was a 3 way hit of joy, sadness and loss. Every now and again we will have days where we have a lot on our minds, and on our hearts. Sunday was one such day.

No: 1

It was my youngest son’s 17th birthday, which brought happiness as I have seen him grow from a baby to the young man he is becoming. He is polite, kind and has a heart as big as a house. Not to mention his music taste now has developed into something very similar to mine so I now have another gig buddy. Nothing beats the experience of sharing live music with others. When it’s your child, it becomes even more special. So for his birthday it was only fitting that he got concert tickets, so we get to share a musical experience and make a wonderful memory.

No: 2

It was Mother’s Day. I got to have a video call with my mum in the care home she’s been resident in now for 3yrs with dementia. Oddly, Sunday marked the 3rd anniversary of her becoming a permanent resident. Now, my mum is 89yrs old, so it is reasonable to expect aging to affect her and our lives. But this horrible disease has taken hold over the last 5yrs, and continues to rob her of her capacity and leave only a vacuous shell of the strong woman she once was. A deterioration that is continual, and heartbreaking. She is starting to forget those closest to her, and the last 20yrs are pretty much gone from her memory.

No: 3

Sunday marked the second anniversary of my father’s passing. He was taken from us following a short, aggressive battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 85.

Dad wasn’t one for talking on the phone, which with me living in a different country for the last 20yrs of his life, he in Northern Ireland and I in the south of England, unfortunately phone calls were my most regular source of contact. Even though I knew he felt uncomfortable, and often would quickly hand the phone over to my mum while they were together, he was always happy to hear from me. Surprisingly even after mum went into permanent care, he would occasionally phone me.

I will cherish the memories of his calls. It meant a lot for him to do so, and he would always finish with “good to hear you son”.

Thankfully, due to mum’s diminished capacity she isn’t grieving for my father. A small mercy.

Even sitting here writing this blog entry, the emotion is hitting hard. And I’m not too proud to admit I have just wiped a tear as it rolled down my right cheek.

I guess the message this week is that sometimes life throws a lot at you at once. It can be like spinning plates as you go from one emotion to another, but the important thing is to take the time to realise each. To embrace them and to let them have their moment, because the meaning behind them should be cherished for the years of joy, sadness or loss.

Life can be bittersweet at times. But sometimes we just need to embrace what comes our way and to let the memories sweeten the sadness. They will if you let them.

Sweetness follows…

Happy Damn Friday! x

I’d love to hear from you – you can reach me on:

@happydamnfriday on Twitter

happydamnfriday@outlook.com